Decisions Decisions

Making big, hard and difficult decisions is a fundamental part to leadership and is essential if organisations are to realise their visions. It is the same situation in the hope and vision of a church. Decisions have to be made that will impact the values and culture of God’s people to move them on from A to B. As a leader the buck can’t be passed or not taken up. It must be tackled if there is to be a new future. I can express my own experience in making such decision has been both liberating and painful and deeply significant in the life of the churches I have been a part of. You (personally and corporately) will only change, see growth and flourish if those big decisions are made and made well.

While I was chatting to a friend about his situation and the decisions he had had to make in his first year as the leader it occurred to me that you never/rarely see the impact of the big decisions until much later. I would guess that the bigger the decisions the longer you have to wait t full grasp what a difference it has made to you as a person and to the people you are leading. It is easy to get frustrated, even demoralised in the time after a big call but I have learnt that God has a way of just reminding you at the right time that you did the right thing. This is not to say that you should not reflect back on as to how you did it and want to learn from it but as a leader our role is to make the calls everyone else wants you to make (whether they will like the outcome or not).

As leaders we have to make decisions that affect people. My prayer is that we have enough faith to make the right ones and patience to see them come to fruition.

Matt

Thanks for all you do!!

I have blogged in the past on language we use to express our thanks to those under our leadership for the roles they fill, tasks they undertake and success they achieve. I have been struck again as to the subtle way in which leaders chose to thank people for what they do rather than the people they are. I maybe covering old ground but it has brought back into focus the need for me to be conscious of my language and whether my thanks is given on a results basis rather than as a way of developing and loving individuals I love and lead.

I can confess that I have been guilty myself of being driven to place more significance on the amount, types and effectiveness of my ministry above the one for whom I engage in it to start with. As a result I know that I have put large amounts of energy into doing rather than developing the person within. In my time at Leicester I even put it ahead of other elements of my life such as friends and family. I have learnt but still learning what it means to have a fulfilling ministry without compromising my humility and drive to serve God.

By putting so much emphasis on what we do, the amount we do and the success of it we are actually creation a subtlety but significantly creating a culture of guilt and pride. We are slowly reinforcing in our churches and denominations that if we work harder, do more we will see the blessings of God on what we do. This is a lie. We may see fruit but at what cost. At Leicester, I put unnecessary strain and demand on my marriage because of my desire to do more (this  is in its self a sin against God’s community). I wanted peoples praise and to feel my ministry was worth something and that the church could not function without me. It has taken me a while to confess and deal with that realisation that even God still functions without my input and effort.

It is actually very liberating when you realise God doesn’t need you. However, it is inspiring when you discover that wants you!

Matt

Putting it into practice

In the last few weeks I have realised that I have begun to put into practice some of the components from the Arrow Leadership programme. There have been a few days when something has cropped up in my week which maybe 6 months ago would have had me stressing or even making me work more than was necessary.

One of the principles that struck a cord with me was organising my week to plan for emergencies or the unseen meetings and appointments of your week. Obviously, by their nature you don't know when they will happen, how long they will take and what follow up will be required. The theory presented to us on Arrow was that you can build time in to allow for such events. Of course, this takes discipline and planning. Two things for which I am not renowned. However, I have begun to see the beginnings of development in these areas. It has taken time and a lot of wiilingness on my part but I am beginning to see the benifits for my self but also the church I lead.

For example: Today Katherine has had to be dropped off back with me from the Childminders because she has suspected chicken pox. Because of how I plan my week I know that I can afford to drop everything, take her home and spend time with her and take her to the doctors. All my tasks I need to get done are relatively sorted and the things I need to do can wait until she is in bed. I even have time to blog!

In leadership it is necessary to be flexible and prepared for the unexpected. I remember James Lawrence saying " you know emergencies will happen , so plan for them." My diary is less full than this time last year. I block time out and stick to it, if I have time spare I use it to focus on long term stuff rather than little jobs. In leadership, you know and accept that you will have things to do, people to support, places to go and responsibilities to fulfil but ultimately how you plan and use that time is the individuals responsibility.

If you find your self with to little time to do things in and do them well, then do less.

Matt

All together now.

All people are complex and unpredictable yet the key component in God's hope in the world today. The church is not supposed to be a place for perfection but of safety for failure and imperfection. Yet we can do one key thing to ensure we keep seeking after the heart of God and serving the needs of our community. Work together. There is great potential and strength in working together if we are willing and prepared to support each others ministries, missions, lives, and relationships. It is easy to become transfixed on trying to get others to do what we want and forget that we may have something to offer them.

Take Carlos Tevez for example. Whether we know all the facts, the reality is that he is causing a disruption. How much of that effected the team in their defeat is unknown but it can't have helped. He may wear the shirt and training top, he may even sit on the bench but when it comes to supporting his team and when asked to try and make a difference he declines. We maybe like that in the church. Wearing the right clothes, sitting on the pews but when it comes to supporting others our first question is "what do we get out of it."

I know that I have, as the leader, subconsciously asked people to do stuff to "help"or "benefit" me without considering whether they want to do or are gifted to do it. We need to stick together and work with the people around seeking to use their gifts not simple to get a job done. If the church is to grow and deepen its relationships within then we have to work as a team that is focused on the vision God places before us. As a leader, I have a responsibility to make sure that we all know where we are head, why and what may occur on the journey so that we can stick together no matter what may come our way.

The church must always desire to reflect the unifying nature of God. It is through this that others may want to be part of something so loving.

Matt

Know where your going (without a Sat Nav).

The other week I was in a meeting where I was the only one that did not have a Sat Nav. I havn't used one but clearly understand what they do and why you would use one. However wonderful and helpful they maybe in directing people around the exstensive British road network, I don't like Sat Navs. It could be to do with fact that "I am a man and we don't ask for directions" or "I don't want to admit to Lizzy that I'm lost." Yet, there is more to it than my flawered character and therefore want to make a case for ditching the technology that tells us where we are going. I know I have not used one (and will not) but want to comment on my frustrations with them.

Apparently Sat navs are better than maps to stop us getting lost. However that is not what is reported in the telegraph where it claims 82% of  18 to 24 year olds despite having a Sat Nav have got lost in the last year. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/caraccessories/8636633/Drivers-are-better-off-using-road-maps-than-satnav-new-research-finds.html This says alot about our reliance on technology rather than the most sophisticate computer of all: our brains. For me, using a map (google maps or paper map) to plan and set eye on the route provides a better indication of the route we need and could need if there are road works accidents or if we take a wrong turn. In our impatients to get somewhere we forget to look how to get there before entering the car and know apprectiate just what the journey may entail.

Even if the Sat Nav's don't get us lost and to our destination on time, we could neglect the opportunity in developing a key life lesson: A sense of direction. With a Sat Nav we could concentrate on being told where to go rather than keeping and eye on where we have been, where we are and what is up ahead. For example: Whilst driving on the motorway we keep going until we hear the voice that tells us to exit in 1 mile (or what ever it may say). Yet you have no idea where you actually are, what city/town you have passed, what road you are going on too or even what number junction it is you have come of at. Now you need to do the route again. I guess you put the post code and repeat the process, oblivious to where you are or where you have been! Imagine what you might have missed out on and what you may have learnt along the way.

There is a point to my ranting about such a minor issues as the use of Sat Navs.

Faith is like living without a Sat Nav. It is faith that allows to develop a sense of direction and then allows us to see the beauty on our journey.

Matt

All together now.

"We are one of them. The staff at the club have got to keep pushing the squad as hard as they can. We have got to push them, pull them, carry them, drive them on - and we have got to do it together." http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/paulfletcher/

This quote comes from Southampton manager Nigel Atkins after our sides demolition of Birmingham City which moved us up to top spot in the Championship. Being a loyal and long standing Saints fan I am thrilled with our start to the season and delighted that my club is in a better place than it as a few years back. A lot of that has to do with the new owners but also to Nigel Atkins. Despite my reservations of getting rid of Alan Pardew, Nigel Atikins was the best replacement. In his quote above I think we can see why.

First and foremost, he understands that the modern football club must be focused on the primary objective; is the team winning football matches. This is why teams like Man Utd, Baraclona, Ajax have been so successful. Whether we like it or not (I don't) this is also what the investment has gone in too at Man City (training ground, additional club staff, and top footballers). To win football matches, titles, cups and glory. To be the best team in the world, you don't just need the players but an environment that they footballers can flourish in.

My observation of the church is that we all need to know that we can only be effective and successful if we, as one, work together for the glory of God. This is our primary focus and should always be. If we forget this or take our eyes off the goal we may end up like Leeds, Sheffield Utd or Southampton (2 years ago). More on this in the next few blogs.

We need to work, pray, live and hope as one. United in our primary focus.

Matt

Fatherhood

I am having a break from my usual blogging topics and comment on something I have been thinking a lot about lately. Fatherhood. From the pain when we suffered a miscarriage before Katherine, others experience of the complex nature of conceiving and the trails of being a parent, I can honestly say that I love being a parent. In short it is brilliant and a blessing that I never want to take for granted. Yet as a father there is a dichotomy that we face. Let me try and explain.

It is easy to accept that there are roles that a mother and father play in a child's up bringing yet how realistic they are is up for debate. My observation is that there is a lot of pressure on father to be highly active in a child's up bringing yet we seem to find it difficult in maybe admitting we do. For example: How many men’s public toilets have baby changing facilities in? (In one public toilet it had such facility but the sticker had a picture of a female and baby on it!) This is not the issue the issue is how many men complain about it? Would we admit/point out to our male counterparts that this is wrong or should be made more available? There seems to be an unspoken agreement that we men keep quiet about such conveniences so that we get out of doing nappies!

This is one observation But us fathers need to grasp the significant of being involved in all parts of our children’s up bringing (even the smelly bits) and telling others dads about it too. Why are we so worried about what other blokes think?

I do not claim to be the best dad in the world but I am a dad that wants to be the best and encourage others to do so. Let me know your thoughts and tips of being a good father. We need all the help we can get.

Matt

Resources you can check out:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-14880055 - interesting article on the physical changes on a father when a child comes along.

http://www.dad.info/

60 minuet father by Rob Parsons - This book changed my fatherhood. It is brilliant and easy to read.